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Service


Service - At Least Two Types

1.  The first type is just "plain" service.  Doing what one is expected to do.  For example, an order taker in a restaurant and then delivering whatever was ordered with as minimal self involved.  To me, this is not service but selfishness.

2.  The second type is putting  one's heart  into the service.  Going above and beyond the minimum, SERVING others as  THEY  need the help, whether they realize what they need or not.

Service - An Example Of What It Should Be

Recently, I attended a mini-8 day convention of sorts with 600 to 700 fellow attendees and families of all ages from all over the world.   Like one big happy family.  Fantastic.  There were 2 hour seminar type sessions every day and sometimes two.

This year, I assisted some of the 20 to 30 handicapped (mostly in wheelchairs, walkers and canes) within the group.  There were 4 or 5 of us handicap aids.

One handicap individual I was assigned to one day of two sessions came from a nursing home each morning and returned each afternoon.  He had limited control of his body functions including his voice so his sounds weren't really distinguishably understandable.

I helped remove the wheelchair from the trunk of the car that brought him and then lifted his thin body from the front seat to the wheelchair.

He had a special foam cushion of his own, L-shaped with part of it placed under him and part of it over the left arm of the wheel chair as he tended to lean to the left.  The cushion helped prop him up a bit.  That day, we propped his left side up even more with a white hotel bed pillow we borrowed from one of the hotels we stayed at.

He was rolled into the auditorium to the assigned plush seating area where he was transferred from the wheel chair to his velvet upholstered seat assigned to him for the day.  

During the seminar, let's call him "Mr. P.", Mr. P. had head phones with a pocket receiver as he was hard of hearing as well.  So obviously, he needed those put over his head and on his ears with the volume turned on and to the right volume for him.

The morning session was fine, but the afternoon session, both the lady to his right and myself on his left heard a lot of static so he needed help to get the receiver adjusted appropriately and all the wires in his inside suit coat pocket somewhat neatly out of the way.

When he gave his sign either thumb weakly up which meant "good" or this thumb and forefinger in the shape of an "O" together meaning "ok", one knew it was alright.

Many times that was the extent of his limited communications.

Another day he as relocated elsewhere in the building and had to be re-relocated again due to his headset not working.  Some might think that is a lot of trouble to get a handicapped to hear, but that was part of our group's mentality - do whatever is necessary to serve others to enjoy the events as THEY needed regardless what you had to do to accomplish that.  Even giving up certain personal desires and pleasures.

Every once in awhile, he would reach forward towards the chair back in front of himself as if to pull himself up.  We knew he wanted something.  But what?  Looking at his face closely, we could see him mouthing the word "cramps".

When he needed attention as he did at that moment, I had to set my notebook and notes down on the floor to address his needs and focus on him 100%.  

From past experience last year with Mr. P., I knew he needed to stand as his legs had a cramp in it.  Therefore, his 95 lbs frame had to be lifted up so he could stand up in place for him to stretch out his legs until the cramp went away.  Then, when I felt him relax, I knew it was alright to sit him back down in his chair.  

Sitting down is fine.  But, making sure he was positioned correctly with his butt in the back of the seat where it belonged AND he was upright instead of leaning to the left as he was prone to do was a two step operation.

First, just sitting him down.  Second, lift him up slightly and bring him into the back of the seat and sitting straight upright with the pillow back under his left side propping up his left arm comfortably.  I quickly made sure his suit coat was straightened behind him and his sleeves pulled down around his arms in a "normal" manner.

When the thumb and forefinger came together in the "O", we knew he was alright.  

Obviously, this was a slight distraction to the live speaker and those individuals around him and behind him in the world-class high-class new $20 million auditorium, yet no one said a word nor appeared upset.  

I did later talk with the speaker concerning him standing up disturbing everyone including himself, and his response was I had no choice.  No need to apologize.  He expected that from Mr. P. as the speaker knew Mr. P. personally.  And, everyone else had the same attitude as well.

We do whatever is necessary whenever it is necessary however it is necessary and do so with a smile willingly.

I quickly remembered when I had visited my mom in a nursing home years ago, one lady came in daily and exercised her mother's limbs and joints in 25 repetitions so the muscles wouldn't atrophy.  She told me at the time her daily visits helped keep the joints and muscles pliable and remain strong. 

After the session I determined to take Mr. P for a walk to which he said he never gets any exercise and quickly accepted my offer.  Seems he used to be quite the Arthur Murray dance king in his earlier days.

Anyway, I had to put my arm around his back and under his right arm pit and my left hand held his left arm in front of me allowing him to lean heavily into my body for support while letting him know he could trust me having only met me last year for 8 days and then again these few days all over again.  He also knew I was in control holding him up and wouldn't let him fall.

We walked at his pace amongst all the other 700 or so people in the hall and hallways all dressed in fine 100% wool suits and fine lady-like dresses who quickly greeted him and moved out of the way making room for us to walk by. 

Many asked if they could help perhaps by getting his wheelchair which I indicated wasn't necessary.  I had another attendee follow us knowing he would get tired soon and would need it at some point.

He would stop and I would just stand in spot until he got his strength enough to continue.  We'd continue walking just for the sake of walking.  When it was time, he would mouth the word "tired" to which I would motion for the chair, which was placed behind him.  Again, in the usual two step operation with his "L-shaped" foam cushion.  And the quick overview of his suit coat and tie pulling down his sleeves appropriately.  

It didn't matter that his lapel on the left side was dribble soaked and stained.  He was getting exercise and attention that he so desperately craved without saying anything.  One of the chief things all seniors crave is attention and respect.  As the good book says, the hoary head should receive loads of respect and attention as they've earned it. 

In this day and age where most of the focus is on being young and spry, the hoary heads don't get the respect nor honor they should.

A Side Comment About Seniors

Remember, seniors have grown up as well having gone through all the stages of like up to the point they are at AND still live.  They've seen and experienced a lot.  They've changed a lot of diapers, missed a lot of meals, sacrificed events and personal emotions for others benefits whether in their own immediate or extended family or others at work or in society in general.  As the gray hair becomes more pronounced and some body parts don't function as they once used to, they deserve more respect and attention.  A separate report could be developed on this incredible much-deserving topic.

Speaking about the above a bit, reminds me of last year helping the handicaps.  One individual needed his diaper changed.  Would YOU do that or send for someone else to do it for you?  Or, are you willing to serve only the bare minimum?  Just to say you served ... as it meets YOUR connotation of what service is all about?  

Sorry for the bluntness, but service is service and super practical every day unconditional  GIVING  to others.  Helping others as THEY need the help, whether they know what they need or not.

So, listen to the same story over again for the 79th time with awe and wow as if it was the first time.  One day, YOU may be there as well and would like that respect and honor you've made it that far.

Other thoughts about serving

When pushing the wheelchair from their car the first thing in the morning, we handicap aids might ask how they slept or what they did last night, if they went out or stayed home studying a bit going over the notes from the previous day's session.  We could mention or talk about the weather and keep a smile on the face as a smile smoothes over lots of other imperfections. 

Focus the attention of the handicap.  The individual and not oneself.  Have an attitude of being somewhat bubbly and effervescent as well as how you are is contagious to others.

Think how would YOU like to be treated if you were in their situation?  THAT is a profound question to ask yourself at any time you are with someone else, regardless who it is.

Would you want rudeness?  I doubt it.  Wouldn't you rather have someone with a positive appearance and bubblyness and a smile and pleasantness around you?  A cheery individual rather than a grump?

That's service.  Treat others as you would want them to treat you.  And do so without being asked.  Or without them even thinking they needed something.  Anticipate issues in advance and address them quickly.

If someone has to ask, that should be a sign you have not served them AS THEY NEEDED to be served.  THINK of the basic needs - physical, emotional, financial, spiritual, family or societal needs.  Anticipate what they are in general and then specifically to the individual.  That supposes YOU know what those basic needs are.

In other words, study human nature and various cultures at different ages in life as each is different in their own respectful way.  That's service.

Even though Mr. P. can stand, when everyone else in the auditorium stood to sing he stayed in his seat and I turned to the correct page in his special over-sized printed song book holding it for him while remaining seated next to him.

Mr. P. could be used in several other ways to show how service can be used to help someone.

These above comments are not meant to say look at how great I am, but as an example of what YOU, too, can do in YOUR own way to serve others AS THEY NEED help or assistance.  I could have used other examples, but this one is fresh in the mind as I type this out.

I built a professional Comprehensive Financial Planning Practice of this type attitude service and by doing so, did little to no advertising nor marketing.  Most of my new business came from referrals - unsolicited referrals.  As a previous former Operations Manager, this same philosophy doubled the size of a service business twice in two years.  So, service is practical and very beneficial for all involved.

Service is doing whatever is necessary to serve others as THEY need to be served.  Not what you may want to do when you want to do something, but what THEY need when they need.  To serve properly, one must get one's own vanity and ego out of the way and focus 100% on the other individual.

A great training profession for service is being a restaurant server.  A waitress or waiter.  Preferably for longer than two years in a first class linen-on-the-table fresh-cut-flowers type restaurant or family style restaurant.  Not a fast food throw-away junk food type place.

A good textbook for a course on service could be "Try Giving Yourself Away" by David Dunn.  Excellent.  He gives a challenge to his readers to try doing something for 5 people every day where they can't do anything in return to or for you.  And, if one does, that one doesn't count in the 5.  Find another and do something to or for them and do so sincerely and without expecting anything in return.

Make it a game and it really is a fun game.

If you will take this challenge, especially after month 2 and month 3 of The Foundation (especially, Ben Franklin's Autobiography and Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends And Influence People", "Public Speaking" and "How To Stop Worrying And Start Living") you can find elsewhere on this site, watch your friendship and responsibility level skyrocket and skyrocket quickly.

Do so with all your might and all your mind and do more than what is expected.

For those so inclined, think of Jesus Christ as being the ultimate Server.  He came down from the Father to serve.  Not be served.  Talk about a complete unconditional humble sacrificial Server!  He gave everything He had - Himself!  And think, He is still being followed and looked upon as being super special 2000 years later.  And He is.

How about YOU?  You, too, can be a server remembered for centuries later.  It's all in YOUR attitude.



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